What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 22.06.2025 02:32
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
She wouldn,t have been !
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
He knew the spot.
NASA Goddard Center-wide Email - NASA Watch
But ive been too sick for many years..
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
One cannot live in the past .
Judge rejects Newsom’s emergency request to limit Trump LA troop deployment - The Hill
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
But, we were locked up after school.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Buffalo Trace Adds Eagle Rare 12 To Its Permanent Lineup Of Age-Stated Bourbons - Forbes
I said to her
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Four measles cases confirmed in Navajo County, first in Arizona this year - ABC15 Arizona
I was 9 years of age.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Have you ever been humiliated in front of a group of girls and enjoyed it?
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
"Sixth sense" found in animals, changing science's view of sound - Earth.com
As i do to all so called friends.?
But it wasn’t much.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
WWE WrestleMania 42 Announced for Las Vegas After Relocation from New Orleans - Bleacher Report
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I never cut or harmed myself..
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Ive learnt so much.
Who then, do I blame.?
What are your thoughts on RM's new album "Right Place, Wrong Person"?
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Poop Transplants Not All They’re Cracked Up to Be - Gizmodo
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Comes on , in middle age.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
What are some common examples of condescending behavior?
What did i know ?
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Could Trump’s ‘big beautiful bill’ kill the OFR and accidentally sabotage SOFR? - Financial Times
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I had hoped to write a book about this .
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Would this be the day?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I was very sick at this time too.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I was seconnd youngest,
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
(And it was in our own minds.)
It was going to be , some day.
I waited trembling.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
And i lived it daily.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
This is soul school!.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I will be 64.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
We all went to grammer schools
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I have no regrets .
He resisted the act ,that day.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Why did i forgive my father ?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
She found it foreign!.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Especially a lifetime of it.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
My life is so biszare .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
We were not on the streets..
I was scared of men, in general
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Put me off passion for life!!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
My family never makes their pension either.
When she asked me how she looked .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
She married twice! .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
She was in good health!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I write beautiful poetry .
She loved him until the end.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I don,t even have a pension.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
So, i spoilt her more .
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I could never make a relationship work though!
All the time i was locked up.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Im still living with it.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I think the readers, may guess!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
So whats the point in blame.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)